Anti-vampire kitchen how to: The trials of garlic butter

     Sometimes, I get really excited about projects or plans.  This weekend's big hullabaloo? Not, as one might think, grand plans for the 4th of July. (Though I am indeed excited for fireworks!)  I'm cooking dinner tomorrow night for my boyfriend, and am using recipes all completely new to me.


     Sounds completely foolproof, right?


     ....Yeah, and that's about how today's preparation stages went.  Well, sort of.  Game plan for tomorrow is a light mushroom lasagna, borrowed from Smitten Kitchen (whose author in turn adapted from Ina Garten) with a side of garlic bread. (Bread=Pillsbury french loaf.  Just pop in the oven and bake! Don't judge, they're absolutely delicious and almost impossible to mess up.)  To go on this bread I wanted to make this delicious sounding butter I found called Kräuterbutter (German if I've ever heard it) online.  The recipe itself is a bit of a simplified version of this butter already, and by the time I was done with it I'd say it wasn't so much "Fancy German Butter" as "Lump of Garlic Butter That Does Not Spread Like Butter".  I'll go ahead and say up front that this was not a success. Read on to find out about the 8 million difficulties I had trying to make this super-simple recipe.